The Food Bong!

Hey friends it's Oz here for a weird invention edition of The Oz Files. Today's creative writing blog comes courtesy from farmer Leah Stafford. She says Hmmmm... I am given a special assignment by my job. I must make an invention using a spork, duck tape and a water hose. What will I invent? Will this be an everyday household item? What will I call it? Ha so this got me thinking what would I come up with when you get a spork which is a fork and a spoon combo with duck tape and a water hose? At first I was struggling must have been that doors burger and fries I had tonight oh can't forget my 7 Sprites at the Swinging Doors. There isn't much you can do with these three objects but I think I can BS may through this one it has never failed me before says I. What would I invent? I would invent what I like to call The Food Bong. If you have seen a beer bong you will know where this is going and I don't know if we want to go down this road but we must. How it's assembled is you take the water hose and you put it around your forehead and you tape it up with duck tape and then the hose part faces down and the spork is dangling on the side of the house. You grab a plate or bowl depends what your eating you put the food inside the invisible compartment and the food slides down the hose and onto your plate or bowl. Then you take the spork and depending and you pretty much indulge yourself to a nice meal. Is it an everyday household item? I would say you would use it everyday if you want to eat with it yes and one great product. Of course I'd call it The Food Bong which I would market it overseas to prepaid customers because they will buy anything even a prepaid phone ha ha um right Leah? So this is my invention go grab it while it's hot! What would you invent? Well until next time may the Oz always be with you so long!

The Princess Of Potato Land!

Hey friends it's Oz here for a creative writing edition of The Oz Files. So Leah has decided this weeks theme is going to be creative writing. Tonight's topic is simple I have to write a short story with the words princess, fly swatter and potato. I will let you all know I love creative writing so this is going to be a fun week. Our story starts off in the magical place they call Potato Land. There once was a princess her name was princess Leah not Laya but Leah! She pretty much was in control of Potato Land and all it's potatoes and it's farmers. The best farmer his name is let's call him Oz. Oz always used a fly swatter because when he was in the filed plowing the fields with the potatoes he saw some huge flies. The flies were sizes of Oreo Cookies and the downside was you couldn't eat them and dunk them in milk. Leah said "fetch me that farm boy the chosen one AKA the OZ. So Oz took his fly swatter and made his way to the potato palace where he gazed and bowed down to princess Leah. Princess Leah says Oz you have proven to me that you are worth of a promotion so you shall be the Potato Land mascot who greets all it's patrons and visitors with a warm smile and funky dance. Oz said "That would be an honor." So Oz got in the hot costume and he was called MR Potato Land and he did his job very well. One day Leah said "Oz you have done your job to the best of your ability and you will now live in the palace in Potato Land and wont' have to work again." All the food that was eaten in Potato Land was made out of potatoes so whatever you can think we ate it in high style. Now back to the fly swatter Princess Leah had a fly on her face and I told her to stay calm don't move.... So I took the fly swatter and gave her face a whack and the fly got crushed and fell to the floor. I wiped off the blood with a towel and Princess Leah did enjoy it so much. There is no way out of Potato Land so everyone who lived there lived in Potato houses accept for Oz and Princess Leah who lived in the Potato Palace! Everyone lived happily ever after THE END! So that is my story and I'm sticking to it! So what would you write about with the words princess, fly swatter and potato? Well until next time may the Oz always be with you so long!

Summer Outdoor Adventures!

Hey friends it's Oz here for our last summer edition of The Oz Files. So tonight is the last night for the summer blogs yes I know it's a sad day for us all! Leah says, summer is a great time for outdoor activites. What are my favorite activites that I am only able to do during the warm suummer weather? Where do I do these things and how often? This is going to be a short but sweet blog just to let you know so I can watch the boxing on HBO on my DVR! So my favorite outdoor activies to do in the summer time is tubing, swimming, BBQ, camping and roasting the mallows! Where do i do these things and how often? I do them at various lakes and rivers across Washington and campgrounds around the state of Washington! We do this like 3 or 4 times a year it's quite fabulous! Oh the BBQ's are usually at my aunts house in the VALLEY! Well these are my thoughts what are yours? Well until next time may the Oz always be with you so long!

Small Town USA!

Hey friends it's Oz here for a small town edition of The Oz Files. Tonight I was going to write about the worst parts of summer but while I was looking into it I have decided that it's gonna be about the five smallest town in America. The top five towns not to visit at anytime. I have also decided that every free write Friday I'll be finding a topic to research and show you my peeps what's going down. I'm a city boy and I love the big cities Seattle, San Fransisco, Las Vegas and Edmonton ETC. So we will start from the bottom and go to the top that is how I be rolling tonight boys and girls! So the first town is huge compared to the others I will mention in this blog. Our travels start out in the Midwest to the lovely state of South Dakota which we visit White Rock, South Dakota population 18! Okay so seriously peeps what would you do in a town that had a population of 18? The only thing I can see happening in that town that is productive is go to the sandlot if there is one and play 9 on 9 baseball. If you played America's past time in small town America now that's nostalgic. Beyond that I don't think there is much else you can do besides reproduce and maybe increase the population to perhaps one day a city not a small town in the middle of nowhere USA. Okay so we now move on to the great town of Tenney, Minnesota population 6 oh snap! Wow what a great population we have here you have enough people to play 3 on 3 basketball or get a wrestling match going 3 on 3 tag team battle or 6 way match that would be sick! When you have a population of 6 people the reality is these people are most likely from the same family. If not there might be two families down there. I don't think there is no cell service or Comcast or dish service!!! What on earth would you do besides twiddling your thumbs and reproducing? I don't have those answers that you seek because I don't live there and wouldn't want to live there. Our adventure brings us to Lost Springs, Wyoming which had a population of 4 in year 2000 and grew to a whipping 5 in 2002. I guess somebody had a baby or someone actually thought it would be a cool idea to move to a hick town. What to do with a population of 5 people I guess a good game of duck duck goose is in order! That about covers it thought oh yeah so exciting! The final 2 destinations are tied with 0 population and they are the lovely Hoot Owl, Oklahoma and Glenwood Plantation, Maine! Wow I guess when they say we are just passing through I guess they weren't kidding! These towns are so bad nobody wants to live there I mean if you did live there you can do whatever you wanted too! That would be pretty kick ass! Um I don't know what to say can there really be a town with a population of zero? Well apparently there can be and this makes no sense but these are my thoughts! What do you think of these towns? Also I would steer clear of Rockford, Washington and Harmony, California. Rockford, Washington is my choice and Harmony, California is Leah's choice! Well until next time may The Oz always be with you so long!

The Last Summer In History!

Hey friends Oz is back for a summer freak out edition of The Oz Files. Tonight's blog is going to knock your socks off Leah is a mastermind behind this epic brain trust we like to call The Oz Files. The topic is hmmm. An announcement is made that due to something crazy, this will be the last summer ever. Once fall hits, the weather will stay cold forever. What is my initial reaction? Would this news upset me? What would I miss the most about summer and how would I spend my last summer? Wow no more summers EVER what are we going to do about this? My reaction, What the @@@@! Who made this decision to have no more summers? The camping and the tubing the BBQ's. The summer camps and the boys of summer what is the world going to do? I think time travel is a great thing the Delorian stay in the same year forever and Summer will never go away! Without Summer there is no Pig Out At The Park just one of the great Festivals in this great nation of ours. Okay maybe Spokane Washingotn USA but hey I can dream big! Without Summer we don't' have the Summer blockbuster movies and the beach parties and the shades a plenty! The swimsuits and bikinis and the beach volleyball on the AVP tour what is this world coming too? I am happy I have the Delorian ha ha ha who wants to join me? Would this news upset me? Um Yes but as I have noted earlier I have the Delorian so i will be able to enjoy summer all the time! I think Bakersfield California in the Delorian could be a nice little treat. I'll let you all know Rockford Washington will NOT be on the list that's for damn sure! What would I miss most about Summer? Hm let's say I don't have the Delorian what would I miss most? Hmm I'm thinking I'd miss tubing out on the water and swimming and having those family camp outs and also the BBQ! How would I spend my last Summer? I would spend it in the great continent of Australia. Hello Sydney Australia I would love scouting the nice "scenery" The Grade A talent G'day mate! I would love to go to the beaches down there way down under! I love the accents and that is where I would be if once again I did not have my Delorian and we have stated that I do have this amazing machine! I should clarify if you don't know what the Delorian is ummmm you need to Google it so you can educate yourself on the hard hitting topics in today's society. Great Scotts Marty I think this blog is a wrap! What do you think about this whole discussion? Well until next time may the Oz always be with you so long!

Summer Plans A Plenty!

Hey friends it's Oz here for another summer edition of The Oz Files. So Leah wants to know what I'm up to this summer! So tonight's blog will be as follows, Well summer plans: how do I plan to spend my summer? Am I going anywhere or do I have an exciting plans? If I"m just relaxing and enjoying Spokane, then what are some things in town that I would like to do and or enjoy this summer? So how do I plan to spend my summer? I plan to be working or hardly working whatever comes first himmm. I definitely plan on doing trivia at Morty's Wednesdays nights at 8:30! Also go see some movies at AMC Yes that is definitely in the plans. I also plan to watch The Wiz at least one time this summer because Leah returned it today after close to 2 years. Now that's some progress oh and she never watched it. How does this make me feel? It makes me said and I'm crying inside and I think this is a tragic event! Also camping will be in the mix you can bet your bottom dollar that there will be sun! Also swimming will be in the picture because I love to swim just jump in and don't be a pansy and slowly walk in come on people lock it in! Am I going anywhere or do I have exciting plans? As far as I know a couple camping trips will be in store definitely at Seven Bays absolutely stunning. Tubing will be on slate when we go down there and also Fort Spokane also a great place for camping. Other than that I don't have any current plans on going anywhere. I will be planning on watching Seattle Mariners baseball this year I hope they fall on there face if they won't win the division or wild card. Yes it's brutal but I want that #1 pick next year in the draft we came so close last year but only lost 101 games and got the #2 pick. Finally the last thing I'd be doing over the summer of course is twittering and that's year round. Also would go down to Riverfront Park and feed the duckies! What would you do in the summer time? Well until next time may the Oz always be with you so long

Summer Movies of 2009!

Hey friends it's Oz here for a summer movie edition of The Oz Files! The blog topic tonight is as follows, Summer time means summer movies! Amazing movies come out every summer. What movies am I wanting to see? What makes me think those will be good movies? Are there any movies that I will not bother watching? Hey peeps of the Oz blog I can guarantee you that this blog is going to be a lot longer than solid 7 lines. Last night was short because it was one question and it was a simple question and I had to watch RAW it's that simple! So what movies of the summer of 2009 is Oz going to go see? Yes I did go third person on ya and by now you should know that's how I be rolling! I've already seen Wolverine and that movie was pretty damn epic. I saw it at Northtown Mall unfortunately but those were the cards I was dealt! Going into this movie I wasn't thrilled about it but it was something to do last Friday night. I must say that the action scenes were amazing. The action was pretty darn good if you ask me. The CGI was off the chains dudes and dudets mind blowing and jaw dropping madness. If you haven't seen it you gotta go see it. I have heard a lot of buzz about The Hangover and next weekend I definitely be hitting up the AMC! What It's About: Todd Phillips ('Old School,' 'Road Trip') revisits the theme of boys behaving badly with a Vegas bachelor party gone awry -- which leads to hangovers, spotty memories and a missing groom-to-be (Justin Bartha). Will the three groomsmen reclaim their best friend and deliver him to the altar in time? If Philips' previous movies are any indication, they'll be plenty of raucousness, a touch of male-bonding sweetness, and at least 12 lines that call for "earmuffs. I think this movie is going to be hilarious people who have seen it have said it's off the hook that's the news from the twitter vine! The other movie I would see is called All Good Thongs. What is it about? Gosling plays a New York real-estate heir (think a young Donald Trump, with better hair) who gets involved with a woman from the proverbial wrong side of the tracks (Dunst). When she mysteriously disappears, a down-on-his luck detective (Morgan) stumbles upon the truth ... and a lot more than he bargained for. Based loosely on a real story, the movie marks the feature directorial debut of Andrew Jarecki ('Capturing the Friedmans'). To answer the question what makes me think they will be good movies? For Wolverine I saw it and loved it and it was quite epic. In regards to The Hangover just reading what's it's about and watching the trailer it's hands down going to be the funniest movie of the summer! Finally in regards to All Good Things I have two words for ya Kirsten Dunst enough said case closed! Also what movies will I not bother watching? I won't name the films but all the family films Oz will not be watching those films. I have also seen State Of Play with Russel Crow Oh My Goodness a MUST SEE AMAZING! What are your thoughts on this subject? Well until next time may the Oz always be with you so long!