Genie In A Bottle!

Hey friends it's Oz here for a magical edition of The Oz Files. Today's topic is if I came across a magic lamp with a genie that gives you three wishes what would they be? Well friends this is going to be one heck of thrill ride into the life and times of the amazing Ozzie Whitehead the 3rd and his three wishes! If I came across a magic lamp and a genie popped out that said I will grant you three wishes and what would they be? This definitely took some collaboration the first wish I thought up myself the last two Lyndsey and I came up with and they are going to be sooo epic! My first wish would definitely have to be winning the state lottery. I would love to have the security that I would not have to work again and I can relax and have a jolly good time mates. I could buy a house or maybe even hire a maid to do my dirty work. It's not that bad of a first wish you definitely want to be set and that is my first wish on the docket. That is one down and two to go and let me tell you folks these are going to make you pee a little bit in your pants if your not careful from laughing so hard. So my second wish definitely has to be we have to make a stand an abolishing all flannel and that's the bottom line. There are no ifs ands or buts. The reason for this is that flannel smells like vomit and it looks like vomit too. Furthermore I don't think you want your flannel smelling like AL BORLIN. I don't think so TIM! I think what he's trying to convey here is he hates his flannel and he wants to transition to sweaters. The most important reason why I am going to abolish flannel is that it's meant for old people who have bad comb overs hmmmm remind you of anyone? It is now time for my third and final wish and this one is going to shock and amaze the nation. You know what I really want more than winning the lottery or abolishing flannel would be you guessed it WORLD PEACE. I believe that world peace is what is holding this nation back to become a great kind gentle hearted nation. Instead of guns and war there would be roses and chocolate sent overseas and all across this great nation. Who really needs war I mean all we want is to be loved right? How about you just show me a little tender loving care that is all I ask of this great world of ours. World Peace is just what the doctor ordered and while were on the subjects of doctors could I get DR PEPPER man them are tasty! So world peace would make this world a better place for all humanity but flannel won't be a part of this whole equation obviously! So there ya have it my three wishes in a nutshell hope you enjoyed this great collaboration. What would your three wishes be? Well until next time may the Oz always be with you so long!

Cattle VS Poultry!

Hey friends it's Oz here for a fresh edition of The Oz Files. Leah had to work later so I got a topic from Kali and Christian what a lovely couple! Today's topic will be the debate Cattle VS Poultry which one is better and why? Let's start off with the poultry side of the spectrum shall we. Poultry consists of different types of birds which include chickens, ducks, turkeys, gooses, mute swan and others that will be named nameless. The birds that are mentioned are a good source of laying eggs so we can all have those super duper omelette's at Denny's or wherever you prefer. Without eggs we couldn't make those delicious cakes or even have scrambled eggs or however you like your eggs Sam I am! I hate to see animals die but I don't mind eating them yummy! Chickens are good fried, barbecued or even crispy. I don't like chicken on ham burgers or on pizza that is just silliness I tell ya. Then you have the turkey which is especially present in the holiday seasons a lot of turkeys gave there lives to this great country to be a feast on Thanksgiving and Christmas day. I tip my hat to those poor turkeys I commend your efforts as you rest in peace! I like ducks because they are at riverfront park and I feed them loaves of bread and they are so cute! I will never eat a duck because that's now how I roll but I hear John Madden enjoys his turducken I turkey stuffed inside a duck or visa say weird COMBO! The last poultry item up for grabs is the mute goose so I guess that means it doesn't make any sounds like the ones at Riverfront Park. I find those geese annoying but they do love it when I feed them bread and they get reeeeeeeeeeeal close to me which I kinda get jumpy but you know it's all good boys and girls! I guess they use the geese for there feathers according to wikipedia. So now we move on to the cattle and the animals include cows,oxen,steers and bulls. Well when you think of cows all I gotta say is got milk? I love to hear cows say moooooooooooooo! Cows are a good source of the meat supply as I said before I hate to see animals get killed besides fish but I do enjoy the benefits of the slaughter! How about an oxen well I haven't heard of anybody eating an oxen so if you have eaten or have heard of it being eaten please let me know! A steer hmm I don't know what a steer is only the steer in restaurant so I guess it has something to do with milkshakes and hamburgers ha ha ha! Finally you got the bulls now I haven't heard of anyone eating bulls either but I'm sure it happens from time to time! My favorite thing about bulls are the bull riding at the rodeo YEEEEEEEEE HAW RIDEM COWBOY! You can't go wrong with either the poultry or the cattle but I think i can sum it up like this. The poultry swear and the cattle correct them on there "FOWL" language ha ha couldn't resist! So what are your thoughts on this topic? Well until next time may the Oz always be with you so long!

Planet Ozziewood!

Hey friends it's Oz here for an out of this world edition of The Oz Files. Today's blog topic was inspired by Leah watching the movie Monsters VS Aliens. Tonight's topic is going to be what planet would I visit and what would I do there? I am not a fan of the solar system or astronomy for that matter however I have been given a mission and I will complete it. I will start things off by saying that getting to this planet of my choosing will be a tough task I don't have an extra space shuttle lying around or any astronaut suits laying around but I will go on like I do have them at my disposal. I was thinking of choosing Mars because of the whole red planet thing but I have decided to choose Saturn because of the epic rings around it. What would I do on Saturn? I would first have to bring up some friends of mine because I would hate to be on planet Saturn all by my lonesome just twiddling my thumbs all day! The activity I have chosen would be a nice game of duck duck goose. I think that the planet version would be so enjoyable. I can see it now someone gets called goose and they run around the circles and knowing me I may fall off and float into space. The circles around Saturn are very slim sliding so you have no room for error. That is what I think would be a swell time duck duck goose but I have a question how would we be getting back? Aw yes a spaceship that hopefully works and if not well it was fun while it lasted! What would you choose and what would do in outer space? Well until next time may the Oz always be with you so long!

I HAVE A DREAM!

Hey friends it's Oz here for a great edition of The Oz Files! Today Leah has decided that the topic will be if I could go back into any moment in history what would it be and why? This took me quite some time of deliberating but I did reach a destination. I could have picked any moment in history but one that stands out in my mind happened back on August 28, 1963. It was the march on Washington which commenced with the world renown I have a dream speech. I would have loved to be in Washington D.C. to march with all those people. Everyone who was there marched because they were striving all for the same goal and that was to eliminate racism and to get jobs for the blacks because the African American unemployment rate was as high as it ever has been. In my opinion this speech that was delivered may have triggered the start of the abolishment of racial segregation. I couldn't have imagined having separate schools for blacks and whites. Also separate drinking fountains and restaurants and so much more it's heartbreaking to even think about how it was way back then. Racial segregation has been stopped and I am so grateful for that. It took some time for racial segregation to end but the I have a dream speech spurred the movement and I am proud of the late Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Dr. King was talking about one day we can all work together, pray together and then he went on to say what I thought was one of the most heart felt moments I have ever heard this was how the speech ended. And when this happens, and when we allow freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, "Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!" Well this man had a dream and he wasn't able to live long enough to see it happen but he's looking down from above with a huge smile on his face. Well friends this has been a serious side of the Oz you may have never known existed. I hope you can now say that I have a serious side as well. Where would you go in history if you could and why? Well until next time may the Oz always be with you so long!

A Meal For The Ages!

Hey friends it's Oz here again for the 50Th edition of The Oz Files! Yes it's a great day for the Stafford Whitehead connection. For those of you who do not follow that is the fabulous team of Ozzie and Leah what a team. Since today is the 50Th edition I have chosen a topic myself because it is free write Friday but Leah was thinking of a topic but apparently she is asleep right now so I have chosen a topic that I hope you will all enjoy! I have decided that tonight's topic is going to be if I could have a meal with any three people in history who would they be and why? This topic fascinates me very well and the people I mention may shock and amaze you. Well I have given it some thought and I have come to a decision. The first person I would like to meet and have a meal with would be the Great Bambino Babe Ruth! I mean he's the greatest baseball player to ever play the game of baseball. The guy drank he ate a lot and he smoked cigars and the guy was still super amazing! When he swung the bat it was effortless and when he pitched he made guys look so silly! So Babe Ruth have a seat at my table. Time to meet my second guest for this great meal. I would also like to meet none other than Los Angeles radio host and host of American Idol and other programs Ryan Seacrest! Now Ryan Seacrest is one lucky guy! he host a very popular morning radio show, he hosts America idol which is just blown up and he works for E! He's got a star on the walk of fame at a very young age the guy is epic! All guys would like to be him and all girls want him! It would be fun to talk to him and ask him how he handles all the fame and fortune and what he looks forward to in the future? So Ryan have a seat and I will now reveal my third choice will be none other than Greg Heister the Shyster! Now Greg Heister does the TV games for Gonzaga Basketball and let me tell ya he does an awful job thee WORST announcer on planet earth! I'd like to meet him and tell him how terrible he really is and Seacrest can announce that Heister was just orbited out of space by the Great Babe Ruth GOODBYE HEISTER! It looks like the meal will only be for two because heister is way out in outer space god speed! Well this has been a fun blog for me to write I hope the first 50 were as enjoyable as having me around ha ha! Well who would you choose and why? Well until next time may the Oz always be with you so long!

Snowman Vs Big Foot!

Hey friends it's Oz here for another quirky edition of The Oz Files. Today I was gonna choose a topic howeva Leah went home sick so she was able to come through with a topic. Tonight's topic will be who would win a fight between the Abominable Snowman and Big Foot and what would be their finishing move? Well after doing some research I have found that the abominable snowman isn't a snowman he's an "APE" so made up and as well is big foot but none the less it's always fun for a good laugh! So you got two hairy beasts going at each other one reigns in North America the Big Foot and the other in the Himalayan region. So who will win this battle of wills? The big foot is black and the abominable snowman is white so we got black vs white and North America VS Himalayans! I think the big foot would come out swinging and doing aerial maneuvers that would be WWE approved. Mr. Snowman would be mounting a defense then he would make an attack of his own with leaping abilities and striking the big foot with a high knee CM PUNK style! He would also ground the big foot from North America! The big foot would then get his second win and lay out the can of whoop ass on the snowman figure! The snowman is down for the count he lays motionless and the big foot makes his final move called the Sasquatch flop! The big foot leaps from the mountain top down to the snowman and lands on him belly first and the ref counts 1,2,3 ring the bell ding ding ding. At the end of the contest the big foot reigns supreme! Well I hope you enjoyed this battle of two fictitious characters what are your thoughts on this whole battle royal? Well until next time may the Oz always be with you so long!

The WWE Universe!

Hey friend's it's Oz here back again for another edition of The Oz Files. On today's show I will be addressing the great topic that we call WWE! I get free reign for the next couple weeks because I am in training and Leah well she has to work later poor girl so I will be running things for awhile. If you know me then there is no denying my deep passion for what is know as the WWE which is short for World Wrestling Entertainment formerly known as WWF the World Wrestling Federation. Yes, there are aspect of the WWE that are fake I am not going to deny that not one bit however when guys go through tables and ladders and chairs oh my! They put there bodies through so much pain it's not even funny! When you watch these epic steel cage matches and hell in a cell matches and last man standing and no hold barred these guys through hell and back and they do it because they love what they do and they want the championship gold around there waist! John Hoffman and his brother are big WWE fans and I am very happy that I get to share my joy and excitement with them! We have both been to two WWE events in town earlier this year one RAW/ECW event and the other SMACKDOWN/ECW event. The guys and gals know how to entertain the fans of the WWE Universe! Vince McMahon who is the brain trust behind WWE is such a marketing and promotional genius! He has three shows on the air the flagship show Monday Night Raw which airs every Monday night at 9pm on the USA Network which is the longest running episodic entertainment show in US history. Then you got ECW on the Scifi channel Tuesdays at 9pm and then on Friday nights at 8pm you got Friday Night Smackdown! There is always these story lines that get developed none of them are real they have good writers on that show damn good writers. It's basically a soap opera for men which I definitely dig! The WWE divas are amazingly hot oooooooooooohhhhhh BABY! WWE has expanded to online access at www.wwe.com check it out it's amazing and they have a premium on demand channel called WWE247 with great programming for just 7.00 a month. Yes I do have it and it's quite stellar. You get to see old school matches and see hall of fame stuff and interviews and the list goes on and I can't stop gushing about WWE but I will now stop but if you haven't checked it out and especially you better watch out for Shawn Michaels AKA HBK for his sweet chin MUSIC it will hurt ya. What are your thoughts on the WWE? Also does it shock you I love the WWE? Well until next time may the Oz always be with you so long!