Childhood Funnies!

Hey friends it's Oz here at it again for another epic spin of The Oz Files. Tonight I will be discussing a funny childhood memory oh how time has flown by when your having fun. I could have chosen from a wide variety of stories but I can only choose one and this one is going to blow your mind! Now what I am about to tell you for those of you who know me this will not shock and for those of you don't well let the shocking begin! I was probably like anywhere from age 7 to age 9 and it was a lovely weekend at the Ozzie estate. My mom she is wonderful and one day she told me to clean my room like any mother would. On this day would give a whole new meaning to cleaning your room and would lead to utter chaos and aggravation for some individuals. I did the usual pick up my clothes throw them under my bed, the typical American kid would do in those days and still does today in this generation. Howeva I had access to crayons and permanent markers and that probably wasn't a good thing. See what I did was I was coloring with my crayola box set of crayons all over my bedroom floor. I thought it was quite good what I was doing and this was just the beginning. Ha now the funniest part is about to be revealed to America. I had this black permanent marker and I used this marker to label everything in my room. For instance if I had a poster on the wall I'd write underneath it poster with the marker. The same would go for the floor I'd mark it with the world floor so I knew what it was ha ha ha! I did this for pretty much anything in my room so I hope that painted you a lovely picture. I told my mom I was finished so she could see my great "work" and my oh my her mouth dropped and went into a deep panic! She said what did you do to your room and I said I cleaned it up a little e bit ha ha! So she really couldn't do a lot to me since I was too young to know from right from wrong. I mean I was a kid for goodness sakes and it was all about having fun. So my Aunt Robin had to come over with this cleaning stuff and scrub every inch of my room inch by inch and we got it cleaned up. I was told never do that again and believe me I did not do that again. Well this was a great story from my childhood and I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did! Do you have a funny childhood story you want to share? Well until next time may the Oz always be with you so long!

Ozzie's Phone Oh The Possibilities!

Hey friends it's Oz here for a great edition of The Oz Files. This may be a shorter blog than usual because I have to get up at 5 AM YAY ME! So Leah has decided that my blog tonight will be about my new phone the G1 and how awesome it is! So friends let me tell ya I've had flip phones before that's all I have had but now I go into the world of touch screen navigation and so much more I will get into that in a minute. The G1 is Tmobiles Google phone it's conquerable to the IPHONE with AT&T but I think it's a better phone but that is my humble and professional opinion! The G1 has many applications such as you tube, weather channel, android tunes, amazon mp3, cool messaging applications and there are toooooo many to count but if you get to play around with my phone you wont' be able to put it down. You can also check show times on my phone with one simple click and also get coupons that you can send to email and print them out so awesome. There is a battery life manager that saves your battery it's quite amazing. The keyboard flips down when you text and when you type in web addresses and you can can check your email it checks for email every 5 minutes! I got myspace mobile, Facebook mobile and twitdroid which is for twitter it's so amazing. You can get countless games for free or you can buy some games but it's real nice. On all the applications and games there are user reviews so you can see if you want to get it or not. This is the best phone eon the planet boys and girls and one other thing why it's so great it's because the great Oz owns it and I am awesome! It has GPS so you can track your phone down if you lose it by sending your friends a text message with a pin and all they gotta do is send a text out and it will find the phone wow love technology. Wow I could go on and on about this great phone but I have to go to bed! Forgot one more thing you can do google search right from desktop there are three pages of stuff where you can put your icons and you can speak into the phone and do a google search that way totally awesome. If I could use it as a ping pong paddle I would but I won't and it can scan items with bar codes and give you different prices at different stores for the same item. Well what do you think of the G1? Well until next time may the Oz always be with you so long!

TACO VS GRILLED CHEESE!

Hey friends it's Oz here for a weird edition of The Oz Files! Today I will be discussing what I think would happen if a taco and a grilled cheese sandwich got in a fight and why? Leah very random stuff indeed and I like it a lot. In one corner you got the grilled cheese sandwich which is very simple in form just bread and melted cheese. We are now going to reference grilled cheese sandwich as GCS to make things run smoother! The GCS is quite tasty when toasted and sometimes comes out hot so it might have a slight advantage in that area. It consumes it's dairy so you know it has it's strong bones and yes it does a body good! In the other corner we have the taco and the taco is quite the competitor. He has a hard shell which will protect him when he goes to battle and he has a lot of ammunition to use when he goes into combat with the GC. You see the taco has ground beef, sour cream, shredded cheese, lettuce, tomatoes and many more ingredients that we could name. So the Taco has an advantage in that sense that he can come at ya at all angles. The mighty GC won't know what is coming his way. Even if the Taco's shell breaks a little bit it's not a problem because the taco has a very sturdy shell and has great endurance! So with all this said what I say is the Taco beats the Grilled Cheese Sandwich AKA the GC in a 1st round KNOCKOUT! Down goes GC down goes GC down goes GC it's the amazing Taco prevailing because he has so many weapons not a fair fight. The taco said to GC don't bring a knife to a gun fight! Our friend GC did not know what to do all he was doing was showing off his calcium phasique and while he was doing that the taco launched all his amunition and there wasn't much else that GC could do! The Bell sounded and at the end of the night the taco got his hand raised for the victory! So the moral of the story is don't come to a fight with only your looks you gotta bring it every single time! What is your thoughts on this hard hitting discussion? Well until next time may the Oz always be with you so long!

Major League Buzz!

Hey friends it's humble Oz here at your service once again for a sports edition of The Oz Files. Today's topic up for discussion today is the 2009 MLB season is only two weeks away and what do I look forward to and any predictions on any teams or players this season? I must tell ya MLB is one of my great passions so this is going to be a heck of a discussion. Leading things off I do look forward to the grueling 162 game season and look forward to see how the Seattle Mariners can bounce back from a 101 loss season a year ago. I know the mariners are not going to be contending for the AL west or even a wild card birth so I am looking forward of watching the kid Ken Griffey Jr back in the emerald city! It doesn't matter if the M's win or lose it's all about Ichiro and JR! When your a fan of northwest baseball that is the great Seattle Mariners you gotta love the sodo mojo and Hall Of Fame Broadcaster Davie Niehouse my oh my get out the rye bread and mustard grandma it's grand salami time MY OH MY! I'm also a big fan of the Arizona Diamondbacks but I won't go into what happened to them last year just blowing the NL west in the second half of the season! Now it's time for some predictions these could come back to haunt me but I'll just go with the basic stuff and then throw in a couple curve balls for ya no pun intended. In the American Leauge West I will pick the Los Angeles of Anaheim. I will take the Boston Red Sox to win the American League East. In the central I'll take the Indians. The wild card pick this year will be the Tampa Bay Devil Rays. In the National League west I'll take my Arizona Diamondbacks I got a good feeling about this one! In the east I'm gonna go with the Mets don't let me down you have so much talent but haven't lived up to the potential. In the central I'll take the Chicago Cubs yes I said it the Chicago Cubs will win the NL central. As for the NL wild card I think I'll roll the dice with the Atlanta Braves we will see what kind of team they have this year with losing John Smoltz huge loss. The AL cy young award winner would go to Eric Bedard of the Mariners if they did not look at recpords but they do so I'll have to go with C.C Sabathia with his first year in the Yankee pinstripes. My NL cy young winner is going to be Jake Peavy in a contract year and the guys so good to beging with and was on the trading block and he may want to prove something to the padres. The AL MVP will not go to AROD because well he's out for 9 weeks with an injury so I'll have to go with Vladamir Guerrerro from the LAA I think it's the angels year and I think it's his time to get the props! In the NL I'd like to go with Albert Pujols the guy is just a man wow go Albert! I won't go into the gold gloves and that sort of thing But I will make an early world series prediciton for ya. The American League representative will be the Los Angels Of Anaheim and in the National League I'm going with the Chicago Cubs. So in the world series I got the angels and the cubs facing off and I'll say Angels in 7. It's bold it's beautiful it's March and we will see how these predictions go down. I would like to close with a couple of my own predicitons. I'm gonna say Ichiro Suzuki is gonna hit another 200 plus hits this season the guy is amazing and I just love watching him run and hit and making amazing plays in the outfield I could go on and on but I might be druelling! I predict that Lou Pinella will be ejected from 10 games this year I'll take the over! I predict the Mariners will still suck next year but I'll be watching them anyways! Finally I predict Barry Bonds will be headed to the slammer with his pending trial on purgery and all about his steroid use say Hi to Bubba with the cute pink dress and don't drop the soap buddy! Well I hope you had fun with this one I sure did and what are your thoughts on the upcoming MLB season? Well until next time may the Oz always be with you so long!

The Oz On Oz!

Hey friends it's Oz here for a great exciting edition of The Oz Files. Leah has decided to name every Friday free write Friday and that begins NOW! So Oz gets to pick his own topic once a week and boys and girls this one is going to knock your socks off! So tonight I will be talking about hmm Yes myself the great and powerful wizard of OZ! You all may want to know how was the super amazing ultra human specimen created? Well you know how I was created but I was born on October 31,1982 and boy when I was born they sure broke the mold! I have to admit if there was no me on this earth I don't think civilization would be able to go on without my presence. The Oz is so talented it's quite uncanny to say the least. I have been in a few plays I was picked as the prince in sleeping beauty in 1st grade and I can just remember it like it was yesterday. Oz with his aluminum swords slaying the dragon and winning the girl ohhhhhhhh what a night! In 8th grade i played the Wizard Of Oz for choir in a monologue version based in California. I am the great and powerful wizard of OZ who are you? I'll tell ya who I am. I am the great OTRAIN that keeps coming at ya full speed ahead taking no prisoners! Probably my best talent would have to be my stellar singing voice. I'd hate to brag or anything but I have won quite a few singing awards in my hay day! I have been apart of award winning high school choirs at Shadle and of course a dynamite performance at the falls! The Oz's passion is definitely sports and let me tell ya sports around the clock is 24 hour a day 7 days a week 365 days a year it never stops! The Oz has a serious side to him this may be hard to believe but it's true. I really value my friendships and love my family so much they mean the world to me. Most of all I love Jesus for he is risen he has conquered the grave! I have written for various publications and I even scammed the Spokane Indians out of season press passes for a whole summer and did not write one story on any game just looked like I was writing and had free hamburgers, hot dogs and pop of course! Having a good time up there in the press box schmoozing with the local reporters and the scoreboard operation and sound guy and PA announcer hmmmm good times! Also you couldn't beat the view! I got caught by the owner of the Spokane Indians bobby brett um ha he just said if I need some tickets he will give them to me who needs tickets when you got two free press passes ha ha ha! Leah will testify that I do tend to fall down a lot I could be sober or drunk it really doesn't make a difference it just happens! I think I could go on about my awesome self but I think I have done enough damage for one night! So I'll leave you with this what are your thoughts on the great and powerful OZ? Well until next time may the Oz always be with you so long!

Survivor Island!

Hey friends it's Oz here for another solid edition of The Oz Files. Today's topic is If I were stranded on a deserted island what three things would I bring and why? This topic is intriguing if you ask me. Just imagine you are all by your self on a deserted island and you have to find a way to survive. There are no cell phones or emails or no digital devices and you have to dig deep inside to find the will to press on for your sheer survival of the game of life. Yes, it's a daunting task but you are in this situation and you have to find a way out and then you can tell your friends and family and who knows maybe some media outlets the whole story and you can have a nice laugh over it that is if you survive the elements! If I were stranded on a deserted island my first thoughts would be holy crap what am I going to do now? First of all you have to be grateful that your still alive and think of this situation as a positive not a negative. I would first papoose the area and see what all I had to work with and I find a way to make a shelter. That is the number one priority on antibody's list maybe or maybe not! The first item I would have on the island would be a huge box of matches. It's a very sound decision because without fire your life grows dimmer by each moment that passes. Making fire and keeping it going is very essential to survival and is also good for cooking meals that is if you can catch anything. Also fire is a good tool to utilize to make a S.O.S flare so someone can find you and that's the most important hing of all. My second item would be to have fishing equipment such as a fishing pole, bait and those sorts of things that is all in one group as a item. Without the fishing equipment I don't think your going to make much use of the firepit. You can catch some big fish and that could last you for a couple days. Drinking water could be an issue but I guess that's something I will have to deal with. My third and final item would be my shaving kit because I always want to look good no matter what. It's a shame to be all scraggly and look like your a bum! That's not how I roll and you never know maybe a shaving kit could come in handy down the line. Well these are my brilliant thoughts and I hope you enjoyed it! What would you bring and why! Well until next time may the Oz always be with you so long!

March Madness!

Hey friends it's oz here once again for a gripping edition of The Oz Files! Today is going to be a fun one with it being the start of march madness tomorrow and through out the the next few weeks it's gonna be a march madness edition of The Oz Files. I'd like to be the first one to say that WSU will not be in it this year they lost 1st rd at home to St Marys gotta dig it WSU blows! This is definitley the best time of year to be a sports fan. You gather up the "best" 64 teams and let them play it out and upsets prevail and the big teams go bye bye! There is always one team that becomes "cindarella" Gonzaga has had that title quite a few years agao! I will never forget the call with Gus Johnson saying the runnnnner THE SLIPPER STILL FITS GONZAGA OH BABY gives the Ozman chills and they are multiplying and yes they are definitley losing control! So i'd like to touch on the Syracuse Orangement for a minuite. They played in the Big East confrerence tourney last week and they really gaev it there all. With an instant classic with UCONN going six OT"s that is insane who does that? Then the next night they go to another OT game and survie that one how they did nobody will know. I would have to say pure addrenline. In the championship game against Louisville I think it all caught up to them and they did falter but wow what a great performacne I gotta tip the hat to the ORANGE! I'll let you know if the orange can get a few lucvky brakgs and get hot hey that team could win it all you never know! That was for you mr Blanchat! Some memorable moments from past NCAA tourneys have to be DREW for the WIN goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood! Goooooooooooooooooooooooooood! Wow what a great call Ted Robinson! You can't forget Chris Webber calling a timeout with no timewouts left with a lead against North Carolaina which resulted in a technial foul and CWEBB getting know as the guy who cost the Wolvarines the title! Nick Leute has requsted me to countdown the top 5 Douchebags in the NCAA tourney and even a wildcard that isnt' even in th tourney you girls will DIG IT! Let's start at number 5 and I'll have to go with all the 16 seeds in the tourney! Oz really commends you on your efforts on making it this far but I will have to sadly inform you that um you don't have a chance in hell to beat these great caliber #1 seeds so have fun back on campus and enjoy the driving range peace out 16 seeds! We now move to the number four position and the winner in this is Greg Paulis from Duke oh my God I hate Duke with a passion. They are on the same hate level as WSU wow that's a huge hatred I call it a loathing! Greg Paulis a little white guy who thinks he's all that and a bag of chips HOWEVA I don't think that much of you because your white and you think your black and you have a bad game playa! At number three were gonna go with Lorenzo Romar the head coach of the UW huskies! How lame are you bro when you don't want to play the Zags because you think and know your going to get your ass beat! You might as well wear a skirt and call ya susie because you have no balls check the unit! Now we move on to number two and I think I'm gonna go with Thabeet from UCONN he's this huge man beast who think he can get away with anything he wants too! I'm sorry dude this is AMERICA you can't do whatever the hell you want here you have to deal with consequences. So you can't just throw elbows and get away with it here man so so sorry! Don't cry when you don't get the calls nobody like that so be a man and take your beating! Okay we have come to the number one on this list and this one is going to be Jason off the bacheloer so girls have a nice giggle! I don't watch the bacheloer but Nick Leute thoght it would be a nice touch so there ya go! I'd also like to mention how epic it would be if Gonzaga faced off vs UW in the championship because you would have two washingotn state schools battling it out! Also UW would bow down to the Zags pure surpremency and they would love it take a royal beating behind the woodshed and yell uncle we surrentder! Wow that's a lot of blogging Skills right there yo so I hope you enjoyed this special edition of The Oz Files! Well until next time may the Oz always be with you SO LONG!