TV Families 101!

Hey friends it's Oz here for a free write Friday edition of The Oz Files. So sticking with the TV theme this week I've decided to pick my top 3 and bottom 3 TV families from sitcoms. If it was all around TV families the McMahon's and Osbourne's would be on the list for best then worst TV families. Ok let's start with the bottom 3 then we will proceed with the top 3. This was a tough decision some cuts had to be made but I'll be giving out honorable mentions at the end of this blog. Alrighty so the bottom 3 TV families in my humble unbiased opinion is going to be groovy and quite hilarious. So the 3rd worst TV family in history has to be the Barones from Everybody Loves Raymond. I love that show so much but you gotta admit that family had some issues. Ray Barone a sportswriter and his wife Deborah a housewife. You can't forget Ray's brother Robert and his mother Marie and father Frank What makes this classic bad TV family is they are always in some quarrel and Ray's stuck in the middle. When you got mother Marie trying to teach wife Deborah how to do things as a mother and wife that really gets the ball going and Frank always says HOLY CRAP! We have now reached the number 2 worst TV family in history. That brings us to the Bundy's from Married With Children. Al Bundy a shoe salesman doesn't do much he hates fat women and he hates his wife. Peggy Bundy the housewife he eats bonbons and watches TV all day and can't cook worth a lick. Kelly Bundy the pretty devious daughter is boy crazy and has lots of boyfriends and always got into trouble. Last but not least Buddy Bundy the smart A student of the family and also made some nice remarks about everyone bad remarks. Al and Peggy locked horns a lot and I think this happens because he always called her WOMEN! Women please get me some dinner. Peggy I think I got me some nice Stael potato chips kids dinner is ready. The kids are just classic just little devious kids doing what kids do best create havoc. I haven't seen much of this show but I have to now but thanks for playing. The all time worst TV family is the Connor's from the Rosanne Show! Dan the father, Rosanne the mother, DJ, Darlene and Becky were the three kids. Rosanne has to be one of the worst mothers on television. She did not supervise with the kids and she always yelled at them for stupid stuff. Dan tried to act like he was the man but deep down inside he knew he wasn't in charge it was that power hungry Rosanne Conner! She has caused the most havoc from any family on TV ever it's downright nasty! I wouldn't want to mess with her because I think the white trash might come out geeeeeeeeter DONE! We move into the top 3 TV families of all time. So the 3rd best TV family are the Cunningham's. You gotta love them from Happy Days which is one of my top 3 shows of all time. You got the father Howard Cunningham, Mother Marion Cunningham, Sister Joanie Cunningham and of course the good looking clean cut Richie Cunningham. The Cunningham's were such a great family they had good laughs and they fought thought some tough times as well. They made everyone feel like part of the family and a lot of people watching could relate to the Cunningham's. We now move on to the 2nd best TV family of all time and that is the Brady's. You know them from the classic TV series The Brady Bunch. America's favorite family father Mike Brady, Mother Carol Brady, Daughters Jan, Marsha and Cindy. Brothers Greg, Peter and Bobby. What is there not to love about the Brady's? It's your typical modern family whose corny lines always make me laugh. Peter brady stick in my mind by saying "porkchops and applesauce." Who can ever forget the episode when Marsha Marsha Marsha nose got hit by a football. They kept playing that over and over and over again. All the kids got in a lot of trouble but what I loved about it is the kids tried to cover up others boo boos and take the fall but as we all know the truth always prevailed. We finally get to the best TV family in history and that is the Huxtable's from The Cosby Show. I don't have to go into it because we all know the COS is amazing and so is the FAM! Honorable mentions for best families Arnold's Wonder Years, Seaver's Growing Pains and Taylors Home Improvement. Who do you pick? Well until next time may The Oz Always be with you so long!

The Oz Juice!

Hey friends it's Oz here for an infomerical edition of The Oz Files. So Leah has another epic blog topic tonight and I think you will find it very entertaining. So keeping with the TV theme tonight's topic is as follows. Ok... Infomercials if I had to do a 30 minute infomercial what product would I endorse? How would I go about demonstrating this product amazingness? What would my products slogan be? When your up late at night there really isn't anything on accept for reruns and HBO movies and great infomercials. Who can forget the food dehydrator, the magic bullet and Leah's favorite the Sham Wow! I'm not a fan of the infomercials but I think this would be fun to make up a nice product to sell it. This reminds me of the time in freshmen English class at Shadle when I had to think up a product make the product and show it off in class I made a hula hoop with a covering around it I think it was like some sort of dumb thing I don't know anyways that's not important. So if you have been under a rock or your just a dumbass I'm a HUGE sports fan and I am amazing. So my infomercial has to be sports related and I think your all going to enjoy it so much! So my product is going to help a lot of people achieve there dreams and make millions. The product I have come up with pure Oz genius and yes I do have high praise of myself and I'm not going to back down from this humble attitude. The product I would push is called The Oz Juice. What is the Oz Juice? I'm glad you asked, Oz Juice isn't your typical juice found in most homes in the country. The Oz Juice is filled with steroids and comes in three flavors which are regular, diet and berry. The regular Oz Juice has more calories, diet has less calories and berry has same calories as regular but it has a sweeter taste. Think about it peeps an average guy or girl I don't want to discriminate. They drink The Oz Juice couple times a day 7 days a week and they grow into this super beast of an athlete. You go out for a tryout in some major sport and wow the scouts and boom your signed to play with a pro team. How would I demonstrate the products amazingness? You will love this I would show clips of my past clients before The Oz Juice and After. The athletes shown would be AROD Manny Barry Bonds Jose Conseco Roger Clemens Mark Mcgwire and Sammy Sosa. You would see the skinny pretty good to above average players then the after would be the superstar bulging biceps and effortless records going down. Also you would see the images of there bank accounts then you will become a believer in The Oz Juice. What is my slogan for this great product? Oz Juice where fabricated careers and dreams really do come true! This is an amazing product what would your product be? Well until next time may the Oz always be with you so long!

Big Brother Is Watching!

Hey friends it's Oz here for a reality show edition of The Oz Files. Hey everybody I'm not reallyh sober tight now but I'll do the best I can but there will be no spell check so dig with me my boys and gals! So Leah provided the subject once again and I think it's quite amazing! The subject is out of any reality game show which do I think I would win? What tactics would I use and what would I do with the prize? Would I try to be in the lead throughout the entire show? Or would I go for a surpise win? So I love reality TV I love American Idol, Survivor, The Amazing Race and Big Brother. That about covers myh realtiy show viewing and I think they are all great shows. However I think that Big Brother is an amazing game and a lot of stradegy and a lot of fun to talk with the people in the house and all the grat epic challenges! Big Brother is a game that 12 strangers are placed in a house and they gotta survie the other 11 and the winner gets a nice check of like 500 thousand or soemthign like that. A lot of drama goes down but I think it's fantastic. Backstabbing is incredibly amazing and I think tit's it's really epic! Peiople play both sides and durring head of household competitons are always amazing and I hope I win them all so I can be in charge always ! All I can say is don't lose the food competion because you will have to eat SLOP for one week and from what I hear it's some nsty nasty suff oh yeah! The tactics I would use is be the nice guy play both sides and eventually choose one side and go as far as I can. Make bonds for life and hope the people like me so they won't vote me out of the house of luxy. Now the thing is the bad thing abotu Big Brother is your cut off from all outside communiATOIN YOU DON'T KNOW what's going on and being a sports fan I'd be dying with anticipationthat woudl be sooooooo annoying! If I won what would I do with the prize? If I woud have won Big Brother i'd buy a nice house and a bowling alley in the house so I can flop on my face but I think it would be a good time right LEAH! Finally the question of would I be in the lad thorughout or be unhder the radar? I think Oz would go under the radar then make my mnove in the last couple weeks and prounce on my prey and win the finals and be amazing and be epic superhereo status! n These are the thoughs of Oz. What do you think? Well until next time may the Oz always be with you so long!

Sports Food For The Soul!

Hey friends it's Oz here for a loaded blog topic edition of The Oz Files. So tonight's blog may be quite long we shall see there is a lot to cover. Leah has come forth with the following topic, I get a chance to create any kind of TV show I want. I get to name the characters, name of the show, do all the casting etc. What kind of show would I create? What would be the name of it be? What would the characters be like? Why would I choose the actors that I chose to play them? Who are the actors? Last of all, what channel would it play on and what time and day of the week? Okay folks let's get this show on the road oh yeah! This took quit some time to figure all of this amazing puzzle out but I think I have come up with something good. What kind of show would I create? I love sports and I love food so why don't we make a TV show about sports and food. We combine the two concepts together for one show where we have people making sports food which would be a great idea because a lot of people want to see new foods that they can try for the big sports parties. They would make food and also drinks as well because you need something to down all that glorious food with. What would the name of this amazing show be? I believe the best name for the show concept is Sports Food For the Soul. In my view that is the name you gotta go with your doing a sports food cooking show and the soul goes deep. So Sports Food For The Soul is so fitting and that's the bottom line. What would the characters be like? The characters on the show would be real people no acting pure raw emotion and beauty would shine through to millions around the country and perhaps the world. The characters I will let you know ill be four females who cook or at least look like they are cooking in the kitchen! Why would I choose the actors that I chose to play them? I have chosen these actors because they are um good looking and guys will watch and it would um definitely be a popular show for men and women of all ages! So grab a pen and paper and some food of choice and sit back and relax and enjoy Sports Food For The Soul. Who are the actors for this TV show? My number one girl is Kirsten Dunst. The next girl would be Nicole Kidman. The third girl would be Halle Berry. The fourth and final girl would be Alyssa Millano! These are four very qualified fans of sports and I am sure they can make sports food on a daily basis. They would have a lot of fun things to say in the program love that! What channel would it be on and when would it be on? It would be on the Food Network and it would be on at 6pm PST/EST and it would be on every day because that's what the people want. What they people want the people get can't let the peeps down! Wow this was fun yes well these are my collective thoughts on creating my own TV show. What are your thoughts? Well until next time may the Oz always be with you so long!

Oz Is Jack Tripper!

Hey friends it's Oz here for a TV series edition of The Oz Files. So I was given the chance to pick a theme this week and Leah providing the topics as usual. I've chosen TV series and or Game Shows. Yeah right down my alley gotta love TV Land and GSN AKA Game Show Network. So tonight's topic is pretty tasty and it is if I could be the character on any sitcom (new or old) who would I be? What made me choose this character? What would I enjoy about being this person? I have seen a lot of TV and I have a lot to go off from but I'm gonna talk about some classic characters. On Happy Days you gotta go with the FONZ AYYYYY! With a snap of the fingers or a pounding on the jukebox stuff happens instantly and it's pretty amazing. He got all the girls which was a nice perk. On Growing Pains you gotta go with Mike Seaver the troublesome teenager who turned teacher in the final season it's an amazing character. He was always the goof off and that is I in the present. He did all the great practical jokes but as he got older he got it and held things together. I'll give you one more example until it's reveal time and that would be Theo Huxtable in The Cosby Show. He was the only boy of all the kids and he got a way with a lot but there were a lot of times where he learned life lessons. Hanging out with the COS would be such an epic battle. Alrighty it's time for the big reveal and this will come to no surprise to Leah who I texted my answer but I'm sure she knew who I was going with. We go back to the 1970's sitcom Threes Company. Where one man lives with 2 girls in an apartment with zany zany events that is knee slapping good time. That is correct I wish I could be Jack Tripper who was played by the late great comic genius John Ritter RIP! What made me choose this character? Let's see living with two sexy single females in Los Angeles ohhhhh yeah. Can you say Suzanne Summers GRRRRR! I think it's time for a threes company marathon! He always got the sexy girls meow wow what a great taste in women way to go Jack! He always got into a lot of trouble and was always there for his friends and he reminds me a lot of myself. What would I enjoy about being this person? Once again 1 man 2 women same apartment in LA ummmmm yeah enough said! He's also a great cook so I think that would be nice to cook great meals because I cannot cook but I can put pizza in an oven if it's frozen yay me! Well these are my thoughts on the TV character debate. What are your thoughts on this great subject? Well until next time may the Oz always be with you so long!

Scratch And Win 1,000 Dollars!

Hey friends it's Oz here for a scratchy edition of The Oz Files. Today Leah has chosen to delve into the topic of scratch tickets. The topic is what would I do if I won 1,000 dollars on a scratcher from a grocery store? First of all I would never win 1,000 dollars because I don't buy those damn scam I mean scratch tickets. However if I did buy a scratch ticket I would still lose but I've seen John Perkins win some money with scratch tickets were talking like 5 bucks nothing big. A former co-worker of ours won 250,000 in the mega millions that's amazing and wow so awesome. I guess you have to buy the tickets to get a chance at some dough! Now that I have filled this blog with a bunch of BS but all true facts none have been fabricated. So I buy a scratcher and I'm like okay let's take a whirl at this load of crap they call legal gambling. I scratch my head first then the scratcher and to my surprise it says congratulations you have one $1,000! I don't know what to say I think an accident may have happened who knows? So I cash my ticket for 1,000 and I'd do the local press blah blah blah then I'd be thinking of what I would do with the 1,000 dollars. I think I'd have a nice party invite only you gotta be a VIP a really good friend of Oz or a family member that I want to come. I"m afraid that people who wear the flannel don't get the invite sad sad sad! The party would be off the hook memories of Halloween Party 2008 wow now that was a fun time or was it 2007 I don't know but wow Uncle Fester was a hit! Ha HA anyways those are the Oz's thoughts on this whole subject they call scam tickets or scratch tickers or in Leah's words scratchers! What do you think of all this mayhem? Well until next time may the Oz always be with you so long!

The Ozzie And Friends Zoo!

Hey friends it's Oz here for a zoo edition of The Oz Files. Leah is back in the game and tonight's topic is going to deal with zoo and zoo animals and things. If I could open a zoo what kinds of animals and exhibits would I have? Are there any specific animals that I would not have in my zoo? Where would this zoo be located in Spokane or any other city? How much would I charge for admission? What would be the name of this amazing zoo? Wow we got a lot of questions to answer tonight and let's get started! If I could open a zoo what kinds of animals and exhibits would I have? Well I would want to have some good monkeys because I love how they swing from the trees and they are such intellectual beings. They also love bananas and I like ripe ones so I guess that's pretty nice. I would also like to have some brown bears because I like those animals. I would also like to have some pigs and sheep because the kids like them and it's all about the kids. I think I'd like to have some birds flying around in the zoo. Finally I'd like to have a lot of big fish swimming around in a huge aquarium. I'd like to have other animals but that could take awhile. The exhibits I would have would be the monkey Olympics! The would be competing in all different events such as banana eating contests and there would be wrestling matches see which monkey wins that would be very entertaining. I'd have a petting part of the zoo for the pigs and sheep because the kids would so love it! The bears would roam in a certain part of the zoo naturally and they would be runway models they would look so good! The fish would be in an aquarium where everyone could see these amazing creatures. Moving on to the next question, would there be any specific animals that I would not have in my zoo? Yes I would not want or need any skunks in my zoo because they smell when they spray and I think I would lose business and the other animals wouldn't be able to survive the odorous smells. I don't think I'd want a porcupine because they are dangerous when they throw those needles at you this could cause huge lawsuits. I think those are the two animals that I would not want but I'm sure they have great families and friends. Where would the zoo be located? I think I'll throw a bone out to Bakersfield, California because I'm sure they don't have a zoo so Oz is proud to step up to the plate and take a chance on BAKO and provide them an amazing zoo. How much would I charge admission to get into my zoo? I'd charge 5.00 for the kids ages 2-17 and charge 8.00 for ages 18-54 then for those senior citizens they get in for 3.00 because they need to save money to buy flannel! Ha and the last question is what would be the the name of this amazing zoo? The name of the zoo would be The Ozzie And Friends Zoo! Well these are the zoo thoughts wow so amazing! What do you think of the zoo questions? Well until next time may the Oz always be with you so long!