The Sports Nightmare!

Hey friends it's Oz here for a sports nightmare edition of The Oz Files. This blog is meant to be tonight's blog but we got two so this one is going to be epic. Leah has decided that when I wake up and the world seems to have no knowledge of sports. There are no sports teams, no sports shows or magazines, and even P.E. class doesn't exist. What would be my initial reaction be? Would I introduce sports to everyone? If so, how would you go about doing this and what sport would I start with? Oz wakes up and the worst possible thing could happen. Oz realizes all of mankind accept for him has no knowledge of sports. My goodness no sports talk shows oh my goodness I don't even know what to think. Just 24 hours ago the whole universe knew about sports and now a disease has stricken the whole universe and only one man has the knowledge that is sports mania. What has the world come to? With no Physical Education classes we gotta think about the kids. What happened to all the sports teams NFL,NBA,MLB,NHL and so much more? Even Tiger Woods has no recollection of what golf is this breaks my heart oh so much. The worst thing sis there is no ESPN or Sportscenter and no fantasy sports what has the world come to? Will Oz reach out to the millions that need the sports knowledge? The answer is simple and the answer is a resounding YES! How would I reach my lending hand to all the peeps? I would hold a sports seminar and it would be a very basic ABC 123 format. We gotta start with the basics. What sport would I start with the obvious the easy sport to break down America's Past time baseball. I don't want to beak it down to you all because it would be long and drawn out but you know what it's all about. What would you do if this happened? Well until next time may The Oz Always be with you so long!

The Switcharoo!

Hey friends it's Oz here for a out of body experience edition of The Oz Files. So last night Leah forgot to get me the topic early last night because I was headed out to trivia. She gave it to me while at trivia it was her bad she's sorry and that's that it's all good baby! So tonight we get to do two topics. So our first topic is What would I do if I woke up in another persons body? Wow this kind of reminds me of that movie BIG. Tom Hanks wishes he was big and he was this 30 year old in a 12 year olds body. It made for great comedic theatre and got a lot of laughs. It was his body but kind wasn't so I thought it was really epic. I am just putting this out there let's just say I woke up in Leah's body and wow what would Oz do? I'd wake up and I'd be like ohhhh YAY it's gonna be a great day. If I were in Leah's body I'd be so sad because I was such a tiny thing. I'd have to use a ladder to see many many things. I know for a fact that I'd go after that Strawberry Shortcake blanket Awww the pink blankie. The next thing I'd do in the Stafford body would be do hat little snickering laugh that she does that I find very entertaining. Ummm So I think I would also like to a ton of jumping jacks and also do a few back flips. Also I'd like to watch the wiz in my handy dandy DVD player and I know I would love it! Well that's what I gotta say on this big subject. What would you do in somebodyelses body? Well until next time may the Oz always be with you so long!

Chicken And The Egg!

Hey friends it's Oz here for a chicken dance edition of The Oz Files. So we all know there is the big heated debate on What came first the chicken or the egg? Yes, Leah has made it very clear that she wants to know and she needs to know what came first the chicken or the egg? The people of this great nation want to know what came first the chicken or the egg? There are lots of theories and I have heard them all and quite frankly I'm quite fed up with all this nonsense! So seriously the chicken or the egg? Both are good eating and I hate seeing animals being slaughtered but I just like to eat them. I know it has to be done but I don't want to be the guy to do the deed. If you look at it a chicken lays the eggs but how did the chicken get there before the eggs or the eggs before the chicken? I like my eggs over easy but sometimes scrambled! The chickens are good on anything accept for pizza and chicken is good til the last bite. Eggs are hatched by the chickens but how do the eggs get there? Oz will cut to the chase and this is the answer and there are no ifs and or buts about it. God created the Heavens and the Earth and he created every living creature. Therefore let the record show that the chicken came first because God created animals and chickens are definitely animals. Therefore the eggs are produced from the chicken and there you have it. That is the long debated question of mankind and Oz is happy to answer it for you all. I'm just doing my part to keep this world go round. What do you think of this topic the chicken or the egg? Well until next time may the Oz always be with you so long!

The Million Dollar Man!

Hey friends it's Oz here for a book deal edition of The Oz Files. Leah wants me to write about if I get a million dollar book deal what would I write about? Also what would the book be called? Would I ise my real name or an alias? Well this is a very interesting topic. I could go into a lot of different directions but there was one clear cut choice. No it is not about sports wow I know a very big shocker it even shocked myself! The million dollar book would be about a million dollar man and that man is called the great and powerful wizrd of OZ! No I'm not talking about the movie, I am talking about my awesome self. The title would be Oz And His Legion Of Fans. The book would chronical the life and times of the ever so humble and meek Oz the 3rd. The untold stories from the Oz himself. It will keep you on edge you don't know what will be next you gotta read because you can't get enough of The Oz and his antics! I would use my househeld name yes SIR! No alias for Oz he's above all that. What would you write about? the title? Real name or alias? Well until next time may the Oz always be with you so long!

Mommy Dearest!

Hey friends it's Oz here for a mommy edition of the Oz files. Leah has decided it is mothers day so the topic is about my mom. My mom is awesome when you have to deal with me your number 1 in my book. My mom is a single mom and she did a hell of a job. Working at the spokane county courthouse for many many years. She is a sports fan but she does not compare to the oz in the sports universe. My mom does ballet ohhh so graceful well she is amazing. A real swell lady she always gives me a bad time but she's always there for me mad mad props to my mom and all moms out there. I love her so much and she is a mom and she gave birth and it was painful. Tell me bout your mom. Well until next time may the Oz always be with you so long

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Wally Mart Good Or Bad?

Hey friends it's Oz here for a Wal Mart edition of The Oz Files. Leah has decided tonight's topic will be about Wal Mart and how good or bad it is. As she says, "Wal-Mart we all know they have some amazing deals. But some people strongly oppose shopping at Wal-Mart. What is my opinion of Wal-Mart? Do I believe that they are an evil company? So Wally Mart is pretty big across this great nation. I don't know if Wally Mart is world wide or if it's only nationwide. Anyways Wally Mart always has the slogan saying rolling down prices everyday! There is no doubt that Wally Mart is mega corporation that flourishes on the middle class. Wal Mart has a lot of great benefits it has groceries and pretty much anything you can think of Wal Mart has it. Some stores even have a McDonald's in it. How genius is that a McDonald's in a Wal Mart. A shootout to Leah and War to the Iphone app idea for ordering McDonald's food on the phone. Anyways I tend to go to Wal Mart on a frequent basis. They have good prices and good people work there you gotta love the men and women wearing the blue. So with all this said I think Wal Mart is a very good commodity in today's world market. Some people think that Wal Mart is bad but this is America people do have there own opinions and it's the wrong one! Ha I only kid but Wal Mart is amazing and so am I so it's a great combo wouldn't you say? Well what do you guys think of Wal Mart? Well until next time may the Oz always be with you so long!

Bowling And The Shirts!

Hey friends it's Oz here for a bowling edition of The Oz Files! Well it's free write Friday so I am going bowling tomorrow night with Erich so it should be amazing. My topic tonight is Bowling and the bowling shirts people where to look like they got game! So bowling is a great activity for people to do and for families to enjoy. My uncle and his three kids are bowling sharks they will eat you alive. They bowl circles around people a shout out to Rich, Amanda, Brian and Justin Oens! I've learned a lot from my uncle Richard and so I now have honed my craft that I like to call Ozmosis bowling cosmopolitan Um I don't know I just made that up. Bowling is epic you got a ball you got a lane and you aim for the pins and letter rip just like the farts that come out the other end. You can be a kid and bowl because they got those bumpers they use for kids and old folks who wear flannel um yes! The way the bowling ball rolls down the alley is such an amazing sigh as you see it roll to the left or roll to the right and into the gutter! Sometimes people fall down when they are bowling if they are pushed or even if they are not pushed um yeeeah! So the hardcore bowlers they got the whole kit and caboodle. They got bowling gloves, custom made bowling shoes and of course the ever so classy bowling shirt. Bowling leagues have the bowling shirts and let me tell ya I've seen some bowling shirts that are flat out FUGLY! Wow bright orange or neon shirts with your name on it wow I think you need to head back to San Fransisco I think you will be welcomed with open arms LITERALLY! Some team names are outlandish like the Betty Boopers come on now seriously bring something fresh to the equation she's old and out dated! There are other team names that are a play on words such as spare me, spare us and my favorite that I found the Gutter Gals! Well bowling shirts are for nerds but you gotta do what you gotta do! Well this has been an amazing blog from the Wiz they call Oz. What do you think about bowling and bowling shirts? Well until next time may the Oz always be with you so long!