Scratch And Win 1,000 Dollars!

Hey friends it's Oz here for a scratchy edition of The Oz Files. Today Leah has chosen to delve into the topic of scratch tickets. The topic is what would I do if I won 1,000 dollars on a scratcher from a grocery store? First of all I would never win 1,000 dollars because I don't buy those damn scam I mean scratch tickets. However if I did buy a scratch ticket I would still lose but I've seen John Perkins win some money with scratch tickets were talking like 5 bucks nothing big. A former co-worker of ours won 250,000 in the mega millions that's amazing and wow so awesome. I guess you have to buy the tickets to get a chance at some dough! Now that I have filled this blog with a bunch of BS but all true facts none have been fabricated. So I buy a scratcher and I'm like okay let's take a whirl at this load of crap they call legal gambling. I scratch my head first then the scratcher and to my surprise it says congratulations you have one $1,000! I don't know what to say I think an accident may have happened who knows? So I cash my ticket for 1,000 and I'd do the local press blah blah blah then I'd be thinking of what I would do with the 1,000 dollars. I think I'd have a nice party invite only you gotta be a VIP a really good friend of Oz or a family member that I want to come. I"m afraid that people who wear the flannel don't get the invite sad sad sad! The party would be off the hook memories of Halloween Party 2008 wow now that was a fun time or was it 2007 I don't know but wow Uncle Fester was a hit! Ha HA anyways those are the Oz's thoughts on this whole subject they call scam tickets or scratch tickers or in Leah's words scratchers! What do you think of all this mayhem? Well until next time may the Oz always be with you so long!

The Ozzie And Friends Zoo!

Hey friends it's Oz here for a zoo edition of The Oz Files. Leah is back in the game and tonight's topic is going to deal with zoo and zoo animals and things. If I could open a zoo what kinds of animals and exhibits would I have? Are there any specific animals that I would not have in my zoo? Where would this zoo be located in Spokane or any other city? How much would I charge for admission? What would be the name of this amazing zoo? Wow we got a lot of questions to answer tonight and let's get started! If I could open a zoo what kinds of animals and exhibits would I have? Well I would want to have some good monkeys because I love how they swing from the trees and they are such intellectual beings. They also love bananas and I like ripe ones so I guess that's pretty nice. I would also like to have some brown bears because I like those animals. I would also like to have some pigs and sheep because the kids like them and it's all about the kids. I think I'd like to have some birds flying around in the zoo. Finally I'd like to have a lot of big fish swimming around in a huge aquarium. I'd like to have other animals but that could take awhile. The exhibits I would have would be the monkey Olympics! The would be competing in all different events such as banana eating contests and there would be wrestling matches see which monkey wins that would be very entertaining. I'd have a petting part of the zoo for the pigs and sheep because the kids would so love it! The bears would roam in a certain part of the zoo naturally and they would be runway models they would look so good! The fish would be in an aquarium where everyone could see these amazing creatures. Moving on to the next question, would there be any specific animals that I would not have in my zoo? Yes I would not want or need any skunks in my zoo because they smell when they spray and I think I would lose business and the other animals wouldn't be able to survive the odorous smells. I don't think I'd want a porcupine because they are dangerous when they throw those needles at you this could cause huge lawsuits. I think those are the two animals that I would not want but I'm sure they have great families and friends. Where would the zoo be located? I think I'll throw a bone out to Bakersfield, California because I'm sure they don't have a zoo so Oz is proud to step up to the plate and take a chance on BAKO and provide them an amazing zoo. How much would I charge admission to get into my zoo? I'd charge 5.00 for the kids ages 2-17 and charge 8.00 for ages 18-54 then for those senior citizens they get in for 3.00 because they need to save money to buy flannel! Ha and the last question is what would be the the name of this amazing zoo? The name of the zoo would be The Ozzie And Friends Zoo! Well these are the zoo thoughts wow so amazing! What do you think of the zoo questions? Well until next time may the Oz always be with you so long!

Cowabunga Dude!

Hey friends it's Oz here for a Cowabunga edition of The Oz Files. Tonight's topic is gonna be so epic! I have decided to go back to my younger years and talk about the ultimate cult classic the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. What makes these guys kick ass? What do I think of April O'Neil? What do I think of Splinter? Who is my favorite turtle and why? Finally what is my favorite turtles movie and why? Let me start off my saying is as a kid of the 90's I had all the great turtles gear. I had all the turtle action figures, video games, bowls, plates, cups and the utensils, lunchboxes, underwear and so so much more ha! I always watched the turtles cartoons as a kid and I would always watch the turtles movies 1 2 and 3 amazing stuff people. Okay so let's get started with these questions. Question numero uno, What makes these guys kick ass? This is a simple question with a complex answer. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are amazing becuase they started as small baby turtles and they got contacted by the OOZE and they grow to these EPIC martial art badass crime fighting turtles. They always beat down the clan and I got six words for ya, Man I love being a turtle! Also they love pizza and as do I so this all makes sense they are amazing! The next question is what do I think of April O'Neil? I think April O'Neil is freaking fantastic. She's such a sexy news reporter and she kicks it with the dudes in green! At first she's afraid of these boyz but they grown on her and they become BFF's! She's always a key cog in the crime fighting inside oh yes she's an intrigal part in this whole saga. What do I think of Splinter? Splinter is the father figure to these young turtles and is master sensei. He's very good at the mental approach to the martial arts. He has his funny moments. One of my favorite moments of splinter is when he goes Hey I made a funny he he he cowabunga dude! Such epic moments from Master Splinter gotta love the rat! Who is my favorite turtle and why? Leonardo is a pretty funny dude he's the leader of the pack and he's so serious at times but he cracks me up but he is not my choice. Donatello another guy he uses the BOW he's pretty kick ass but nope he's not the choice. Raphael is a pretty kick ass dude and he goes HEY LEO in his New York accent it's quite epic. He has a bit of an attitude problem so he's not the choice. So the choice is simple my favorite turtle hands down is Michelangelo. He's got the nunchuck action going and he's got a nice sense of humor he's a huge smartass hmmm remind you of anyone? He's the guy who gets the pizza and he delivers the no tip policy when your one minute late so so good! Finally what is my favorite turtles movie and why? My favorite turtles movie is Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2 The Secret Of The Ooze. This one is my favorite because the Turtles kick the clans ass they take on these two freak like creatures made by the ooze because of a kidnapped scientist. They rock out to Go Turtles Go Turtles Go Turtles GO GO GO! Amazing song gotta check it out and they take down the shredder for the last time and it was sweet revenge. I love April's look in this film a sexier look indeed and love the kid Kenji in this movie. A pizza delivery boy who is great in martial arts and it's a great tale one the whole family can enjoy. Leah loves the turtles I know this to be true unlike the milk which i kinda fibbed ha ha! What do you think of the turtles? Well until next time may the Oz always be with you so long!

Bugs Bunny VS Snoopy

Hey friends it's Oz here for a fight club edition of The Oz Files. I was trying to think of a topic quite a bit today but I finally got one while sitting in this great swivel chair. I have chosen to take a Leah angle sometimes she throws out those who would win a fight between this or that and I have decided to take the road less traveled. So tonights topic is who would win a fight between Bugs Bunny and Snoopy? This is a great match up both evenly matched and both have straights and weaknesses. I love them both so this could be one heck of a battle. So Bugs Bunny has the advantage with the height the kids a beast. Snoopy on the other hand isn't a tall dog but he has the heart of a lion and a heart of gold. Bugs Bunny does like his carrots which means he loves carrot cake and carrot cake is thee best yes sir! Snoopy on the other hand loves dog food and grass so I guess that might go against him in this case. Snoopy has been known to fly on occasion the red baron flies again yes sir! Bugs Bunny hasn't been one to fly but he is a quick critter. He has to be fast because he's always prancing across Warner Brothers avoiding Elmer Fudd! Snoopy has no catch phrases but Bugs Bunny has one of the classic catch phrases of man kind and it's "What's Up DOC?" Snoopy doesn't have any love interests but Bugs Bunny is a playboy he's got Babs on the side, two words ME OW! So the two combatants step into the squared circle AKA the Ring! In one corner we got Bugs Bunny he's got Babs in his corner and in the other corner we got snoopy and Charlie Brown is in his corner. Snoopy gets the upper hand early by biting Bugs Bunny's ankles and he's hopping in pain. Bugs comes back with a swift kick in the rear and snoopy goes flying. Snoopy starts to whimper but that was his game plan and once Bugs kneels down snoopy pounces on Bugs and starts punching him in the face! Bugs think it's time for a carrot and he's energized with the What's Up Doc! When Snoopy hears this he is in awe and doesn't know what to do so Babs kicks Charlie Brown in the face with sweet chin music on the outside. As Bugs sees this he runs towards Snoopy and gives him a killer close line. Bugs covers snoopy and the 1 2 3 ding ding ding! Bugs Bunny beats Snoopy in a valiant effort of the battle of wills! At the end of the match Snoopy and Bugs Bunny hugged and shook hands in mutual respect and Charlie Brown was still knocked out he saw stars and Babs was batting her eyes at the Bugs! So you know how that goes! Wow what a great blog what do you think of this great battle? Well until next time may the Oz always be with you so long!

Sports Mascots Are Amazing!

Hey friends it's Oz here again for a mascot edition of The Oz Files. I have come up with a genius animal themed blog. I have chosen to go to the sports world and discuss what are the best MLB mascots that have an animal theme? I would go into the other sports but we would be here all day. So we start with the American League teams and will touch base with all the teams that have an animal for a mascot OK here we go! We start off our trek out on the east coast down to Baltimore Maryland the home of the Baltimore Orioles. I think when you have an oriole for a mascot I think you lose a lot of man points because an oriole is a little bird and it's kind of a weak bird and it needs to get out of the O zone! We proceed to the Midwest in lovely Detroit Michigan. The home of the Detroit Tigers and a tiger is a pretty damn good mascot. He's got the nasty growl and strikes fears into the opponents so be jealous. We head to the west coast to the wonderful Seattle Washington home of the Seattle Mariners. The mascot is the mariners but they have the Mariners Moose and the guy is epic. He goes around the country putting on great shows for all the fans and one day I guarantee you he will be in the mascot hall of fame and yes there is one. The moose is so so good he drinks his milk unlike Leah! We now head out to Tampa Florida home of the RAYS. Having a sting ray as your mascot that is pretty cool because it can sting it's prey and put them down with shame. The Rays can swim and they are ever so elusive. We visit our last AL city and that is way up in Toronto OH Canada the home of the Toronto Bluejays. Once again a bird that is not a hawk or vulture or a raven isn't all that and a bag of chips. So a blue jay would lose in a battle again all animals may have a chance with the Oriole oh boy! Now we head to the NL and back to the west coast representing! We head down to Phoenix Arizona the home of the Arizona Diamondbacks. A diamondback is basically a bad ass rattlesnake. A snake strikes fears in the eyes of men and women and children! When you hear the rattling of the snake you stop drop and roll enough said! We are back in the Midwest landing in Chicago Illinois. Home of the Chicago Cubs they have a bear as a mascot. That's pretty cool however a cub is a baby bear so it's not that great. If a big bear locked eyes with the cub bear I don't want to think what would happen but the cubs gotta love em the lovable losers. Our adventures lead us to Miami Florida the home of the Florida Marlins. The Marlin is a huge fish with a pointy nose to fend off predators. I think the marlin could be one of the bad ass fish around. When an opponent comes along all he has to do is stab them in the face! Watch out for the corn hole bud! Our last destination lands us in the Midwest once again in St. Louis Missouri the home of the St. Louis Cardinals. Once again another bird but a cardinal isn't such a bad bird to be I can assure you it can beat the ass out of a blue jay and an oriole on a 2 on 1 handicap match. The reason being the cardinals are just amazing! Well what do you think of this mascot chatter? Well until next time may the Oz always be with you so long!

It's Time To Do The Safari Dance!

Hey friends it's Oz here for a Safari edition of The Oz Files. Sorry for the delay in blogs fell asleep last night so I sorta did not want to get on the computer at 1130 but anyways we are back for another double dip. Leah says that today's blog is going to be on the African Safari animals. She says Zebras, hippos, giraffes, gazelles, rhinos, lions, hyenas, warthogs and meerkats those are fun animals. I will start of by saying that I don't know much about these animals but I'm gonna do the best I can do a little opinion on each animal then put it all together with a nice bow. So the animals of the Safari oh what a great collection of animals and some top tier athletes. Let's start of with the Zebra what is a zebra? Looks like a horse with black and white stripes that's how I take it. What does it I'm guess some meat and some grass and it's sad to see them die when lions prowl on them that's why I avoid those shows at all times so sad but you know that's how it is in the wild only the ELITE survive! Next on the docket we got hippos really what is a hippo? A hippos is an animal that is big and resides in the lovely thing they call water. I don't know what they eat probably stuff in the water just a guess. I don't think you want to get too close to a hippo. I'd like to say I am a huge fan of the game hungry hungry hippos any challengers? Next to the plate are the lovable Giraffes and I'm not sure what to make of this creature. It's so tall and skinny it reminds me a lot of Shaq O'neal or Yao Ming it's YAO not YO it's YAO! Those are my thoughts on the Giraffe it doesn't do a lot for me. Next up are the meek creature they call a gazelle. Gazelles are usually seen prancing in the wild and then an animal comes along and pounces on them and devours them once again not something I like to see. I am sure gazelles get there fare share of food too! I think Gazelles should do ballet because they are so graceful. What's the buzz about the rhinos? Rhinos are kind of like a hybrid sort of like half dino half freakish animal. I guess they like to use there heads to throw down like they were in China Town in NYC! Lions and tigers and bears OH MY! Yes now we talk about the lions and no not the win less 0-16 Detroit Lions bit shout out to the big D. Lions are one of the most feared animals in the safari kingdom. Whenever I see a lion it's prowling and prancing on defenseless animals. My favorite lion is the cowardly lion from The Wizard Of Oz the NOIVE! Hyenas are known for laughing wildly and Leah's laugh reminds me of such sounds and it's fantastic! Ha HA um so there ya go those are my thoughts on the wonderful Hyenas. What are warthogs/ I have no idea so let's move on maybe the spread the warts around it's the gift that keeps on giving. Finally what about meerkats? Don't know what a meerkat is so I guess that explains how relevant they are to my rank of food chain animals. These are the thoughts of the great and powerful wizard of Oz WHO ARE YOU? What are your thoughts on the safari animal kingdom? Well until next time may the Oz always be with you so long!

A Man's Best Friend!

Hey friends it's Oz here for a doggy edition of The Oz Files. Today's topic was inspired by one Erich Michael Miller. He has another topic on tap but he has to get his questions set to do this topic stay tuned. For today's blog the topic is about dogs. Question one Why are dogs a man's best friend? Would you let your best friend take a crap on your living room floor? Would you have your best friend spade or neutered? Do we really know what lassie was saying? So to answer the first question why is a dog considered a man's best friend? I think it's branded this way because men loves sports and they need a companion to join them in there satisfaction. Dogs are a man's best friend because his other friends have dogs too. Women's best friend are diamonds so there ya go folks! Question number two would I let my best friend take a crap on the living room floor? The answer is a resounding hell to the no. Unless they want to clean that crap up literally and pay for carpet cleaning. Whatever they do is none of my business accept your not taking a crap on the freaking floor! Question number three would I have them spade or neutered? Yes because I don't want to see anymore of them running around now that would be a scary sight. Finally question four do we know what lassie said? I don't think we can really tap into the dog language. However I think Lassie RIP was a great show and a great dog because she loved her Timmy! What do you think of the dog subject? Well until next time may the Oz always be with you so long!