Wedding Crashers!

Hey friends it's Oz here for a delayed edition of The Oz Files. It was my bad Leah sent me the topic on time and I just fell asleep and woke up at 11:30 and so today we at The Oz Files deliver two hard hitting blogs. In this edition is Leah's topic what movie would I make into a sequel and what would be the basic plot? So I had a lot of time to think about this and I have come to a great decision. So I think a great movie to do a sequel from would be Wedding Crashers! The name of the sequel would be Wedding Crashing 2 The Mix up! So those of you who have seen Wedding Crashers the movie ended when the two married couples were headed down the highway in a car and were on there way to crash a wedding posing as Mormon cowboys. So the basic plot is this they go to this wedding pose at Mormon cowboys and cowgirls who is gonna do the crashing will the marriages be scorn after this crash? You have four married people will the four individuals involved each have someone to crash with? I think this would be quite riotous with two married couples crashing the same wedding posing as Mormons anything can happen under the sheets! When your talking about Mormons maybe the crashing can crossover and perhaps the four individuals will cross paths with all the erotic pleasures of Mormon ways! We can't go any further but this is the basic plot how will it end why don't you tell me what you think how it all boils down! Oz also wants to know what sequel would you make and what would the basic plot be? Well until next time may the Oz always be with you so long!

AT&T The Big Cheese!

Hey friends it's Oz here for a technology edition of The Oz Files. Leah has decided that today's topic is going to be what does AT&T have to do to achieve world domination? This is quite the great topic since Leah and myself work for AT&T so this is going to be a tasty treat. When you think of AT&T you think of greatness and pure genius. AT&T is such a big company they have a wireless division, wireline division, internet division and hey they even have Directv bundles. I think AT&T makes a lot of money off stupid prepaid customers they suck them in and take there money with crappy rate plans. The people love it the people savor it the people love spending money for AT&T. What does AT&T have to do to achieve world domination? Well if we are talking about cell phone world domination it's quite simple. AT&T has to buy out at least one major cell phone company which I could see that happening down the road. IF and when that happens AT&T is going to be the biggest and the baddest company of man kind. What I think would be the cherry on top would be if AT&T merged up with McDonald's. Think of it AT&T and McDonald's join forces to bring the best promotions of mankind. Buy an IPHONE and we will throw in a book of mcd's coupons as a special promotion. America loves McDonald's so I think that would definitely be a huge factor for the first step in the right direction for world domination! One other thing that AT&T has to accomplish to gain world domination is hire Ozzie Whitehead as there spokesperson. With Oz representing the AT&T brand you put a sexy voice out there for a sexy product! AT&T and Oz equals world domination so whose with me? So what do you think AT&T has to do to gain world domination? Well until next time may the Oz always be with you so long!

The Oz Scammer!

Hey friends it's Oz here for the second blog topic of the day oh and it's gonna be a dandy it's a sporty edition of The Oz Files. Tonight's topic is what is the most memorable sporting event I have ever attended and what made it so memorable? I have been to many sporting events in my lifetime but it's really hard to just pick one. So here I am faced with a dilemma and I think Oz has come to a solution. In a previous blog I mentioned how I may have scammed the Spokane Indians out of two free press passes for a whole summer. Well I think I'd like to elaborate on that a bit and I think everyone reading this will have a good laugh. So in 2004 when I was going to SFCC writing for the newspaper in the sports division mostly. I also wrote for other various sections. So we got a call at the office from Jay Stewart who does promotions for the Spokane Chiefs and Spokane Indians and who used to be play by play for the Chiefs. He called asking for the lead sports writer which was me asking me if I wanted to do an article on the Grotto. Which was being built and nearly completed and I jumped all over that opportunity like white on rice. I went out to Avista Stadium with a photographer and I had a tour of the stadium had a nice chat with the President of the Spokane Indians and Advertising dude about baseball and the Spokane Indians and the grotto and various other topics. We had a nice chemistry brewing and after the interviews were done the President of the Spokane Indians asked me if we have a paper in the summer and I said "sure" we do. He asked me if I'd like to have two summer press passes to the games this year to do some stories on the Spokane Indians. I was thinking to myself hmmm Free Press Passes to Spokane Indians baseball games all summer long. Hmm Sounds good to me only one of us knew there would be no articles written but I did bring all my stuff up to the press box acting like I was doing something. Opening day rolls around I arrive at the ballpark I say I got two press passes for Ozzie Whitehead. To my amazement the guy hands me two press passes for the entire summer I was quite baffled. So I ask someone where is the press box so I have these passes might as well take advantage of a great situation. I met the PA announcer the scoreboard operator the sound effects dude even the broadcaster and a Spokesman review reporter. They had no idea who I was and I preferred to keep it that way. Oz always like to keep a low profile so that I can scam the city of Spokane for all it's worth. One of the great perks being part of the "Press Box" was the free hot dogs, hamburgers and pop. The view was out of this world and I brought my tape recorder and a notepad and I looked all legit. What did I do with this information I threw it away and I enjoyed my recording at the ball park. I kept coming back every night. If the Spokane Indians were at home Oz would make sure he'd be there. I invited friends and such up with my extra press pass it was quite enjoyable. We had a fun time up in the press box. The season had almost came to a close but it was to be my last night in that glorious press box. This douche bag kid who ran the sound effects said who are you I told him and he said Bobby Brett is going to speak with you. Dum Dum Dum DUUUUUM! So that last night I brought my uncle up to the press box which was pretty sweet. I did talk to Bobby Brett who um owns the Spokane Indians. He said I know you got the press passes but the press box is meant for the Major Media outlets he did not say it like that he put it in a nice way. So he said if you need any tickets to any games you let me know and I'll get ya great seats. So that was my last night in the press box however that wasn't the last time I would use my press passes. I would keep showing up at the stadium I would get in for free and I'd just sit in some fabulous seats that were not occupied. So to answer the blog question my most memorable sporting event would have to be the summer of 2004 at Avista Stadium watching a lot of free Spokane Indians games and I think why was it so memorable I think I've explained that in great detail. I scammed the Spokane Indians for free stuff and I'm quite happy with that. Some of you out there may be thinking say it aint so say it aint so Oz! My friends I regret to inform you even I the great and powerful wizard of Oz can be mischievous as well. What is your most memorable sporting event you have attended and what made it so memorable? Well until next time may the Oz always be with you so long!

A Case Of The Mondays!

Hey friends it's Oz here for a Monday edition of The Oz Files. We at The Oz Files are pulling double duty today. Leah sent me the blog topic too late last night so we are doing double the pleasure double the fun oz is back Jack. The first topic of the day will be Mondays is it really all that bad? What makes Monday's a fun day? Topic number two will be delivered via text message later on today and then another blog will be posted. So Mondays are usually a drag you have a good weekend you don't want to get up and get back to that thing they call work. Everyone does it and they oh so love that feeling when you get back to work on a Monday ha ha! Here are some things that make Monday's epic. For the football fans out there you always got Monday Night Football! Monday Night Football is iconic everyone sits around and watches that game every week during the football season. I would have to say there are many bars packed to the gills sober people enter drunk people depart oh what a rush! Mondays are great that is if your a WWE fan! John Hoffman and the rest of WWE nation will stand and rejoice in what is the longest running episodic show in cable TV history. That is right it's MONDAY NIGHT RAW! WWE Monday Night Raw has been on the air every week for the past 16 years ohhh boy and it's growing in popularity. So epic so fab and oh so glamorous! Well that is why Monday's can turn your frown to a smile. So next Monday when your feeling down remember this blog and watch USA 9pm for Monday Night Raw and in the football season ESPN Monday Night Football. So what do you think Monday's so amazing? Well until next time may the Oz always be with you so long!

Thanksgiving In April

Hey friends it's Oz here for a Thanksgiving edition of The Oz Files. That's right I said Thanksgiving would like me to talk about Thanksgiving in April? Yeah I know Leah um don't know what she's thinking ha ha I'm just playing but you know we do what we do best roll with the punches. Oh By the way Happy Easter everyone for he is risen! So my thoughts on Thanksgiving well I think it's about giving thanks for what you have and spending time with friends and family. Being with family is a huge part of the holiday season and my family is ay okay they give me a hard time but that's what a family does. Also football is a big part of Thanksgiving Americana. Football and Thanksgiving are like Leah and Stafford they just go together! Thanksgiving is also a time to stuff our little faces with some oh so healthy foods. God bless those turkeys who sacrifice there lives so that millions of people can have tasty Thanksgiving dinner. My favorite is the pumpkin pie with whip cream oh sooooooooo good! My aunt Robin last year she made pumpkin pie had a bit of a funny tase it tasted like chili pumpkin pie but still good we still give her a hard time about that. I don't like apple pie so nasty and wow yeah. I love turkey and pumpkin pie and definitely the worst thing is YAMS so I steer clear. My uncle Russ he loves the yams so he eats them all nobody will touch them. After everyone has eaten everyone is pretty tired so we watch a movie or something and fall asleep. My mom and aunt takes huge risks the next day and do the black Friday shopping that's like going to Costco on a weekend wow don't do it! Well what are your thoughts on Thanksgiving? Well until next time may the Oz always be with you so long!

Sweet Chin Music!

Hey friends it's Oz back again for a sweet chin music edition of The Oz Files. Tonight's blog topic chosen by Leah who is proceeding to get drunk right now has chosen while in a sober state to make the topic which celebrity would I like to meet and what would we do for the day? This definitely was a battle of wills to see who I would come up with. However I have made a decision and I think it's going to make this a pretty good blog. So let's cut to the chase and find out who Oz's dream celebrity hang out day a ma bob would turn out. This may shock and amaze some of you but for others it just makes sense. The person I have chosen to spend the entire today with is none other than the heartbreak kid Shawn Michaels! That's right future WWE hall of famer Mr. Wrestlemania, the showstopper the main event the headliner and so much more. Now that we know who the celeb is now we will talk about what we would do for a day and oh boy it's gonna be SWEET! We would have one activity all day long and we would continue doing this said activity until we fell over laughing. What we would do is go around dishing out sweet chin music to people who really pissed Oz off and if your in the way you might get it too! HBK and I would first have to dish out the sweet chin music to the inventor of flannel and of course people who are flannel wearers they have to be abolished! Here it comes the SWEET CHIN MUSIC down and out down ya go! You might think twice before you put on a flannel because the sweet chin music will hurt ya oh yes right in the jaw! The next casualties would be people who pronounce Gonzaga like Gonzawga! Those guys and gals need to be taught a lesson so the sweet chin music coming at ya full speed ahead pow pow pow your done! We would also have to target every prepaid customer walking the face of the earth they are annoying and would have SWEEEET CHIN MUSIC ringing through there heads all day and all night long! Finally I'd like to say that our last victims of the sweet chin music definitely has to be all WSU fans and alums and everyone who lives or lived in Pullman so they have to go SWEET CHIN MUSIC SWEET CHIN MUSIC ohhhhhhhhhhhhh what a thrill! Anyways so who would you meet and what would you do? Well until next time may the Oz always be with you so long! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P2iwg8IJhqI

If I Only Had A Brain!

Hey friends it's Oz here for a free write Friday edition of The Oz Files. Today I have chosen a topic of which Wizard Of Oz character would I be and why? I hope you have all recovered from my brash arrogant blog last night I thoroughly enjoyed myself! The Wizard Of Oz is a great story a classic in American Movie history. Dorathy Gayle gets knocked out hard by the twista and has a dream and needs to find a way home along the way meets a scarecrow who needs a brain. The good ole Tinman who needs a heart. Finally you got the Lion who needs the Noive or Courage! As the story goes follow the yellow brick road be careful you might step in something yellow that you did not intend to if you get my drift. I have already portrayed the Wizard Of Oz in 8Th grade and I was soo good. So since I've already lived the life of the Wiz then we will have to rule him out. You should ask Leah about the Wiz I hear she loves that movie. Oh wait she hasn't seen it yet ha ha ha! This is a tough decision do I want a brain? a heart? or the noive? I tell ya decisions decisions but I guess there has to be some conclusion by the end of this blog. We mustn't forget Dorathy's little dog toto oh what a cute little thing now he's in doggy heaven. Let's start off with the Tinman shall we? The Tinman was a woodsmen and he was cutting down trees but he got turned into tin and he wasn't given a heart. This is quite sad how could you go on without having feeling for someone or something? When he gets rusty he has to fill up with the oil can my only question is what happens when the oil can runs out do you have to buy a certain type of oil or do you just go to chevron and filler up? I think the Tinman is a great dancer and he's awesome when he does the toot toot steam pops out of his head so classic! Since I mentioned the Tinman we obviously can conclude that my choice isn't the Tinman but what a hell of a guy! Now I must talk about that darn Lion he needs some courage and in a hurry. The Lion acts rough and tough but in the inside he's just a little pussy cat. He cried when Dorathy hit him on the nose I felt that was a great part of the movie emotion is always good to let out. The Lion needs the noive because without the noive the Lion is useless. Yes, he's a big creature but without that needed edge he's nothing just a guy with a lions mane and nothing more how sad! Since I discussed the Lion he also isn't my choice. So there is only one other option and you know who that is yes the mighty Scarecrow! I would be the scarecrow because he needs a brain his head is all of full of stuffin and his heart is full of pain. He likes to rattle every riddle for any indifiddle in trouble or in pain. I think he's a great guy! He fell off the post and well I just fall a lot so I think the Scarecrow and myself have a loot of things in common. He doesn't have a brain and I have a brain but sometimes I don't use it so I guess that evens itself out a bit. Dorathy and Scarecrow grew very close so close that maybe they had a flame brewing! Scarecrow doesn't like flames or fire so you can't count him out at bonfires! Just follow the yellow brick road and you find the great and powerful Wizard Of Oz. He gave them all what they wanted and they all lived happily ever after! SO what Wizard Of Oz character would you be and why? Well until next time may the Oz always be with you so long!